Okay, I've finished the book now. Actually, I've been finished since early Friday morning at 4:00 A.M! (That should tell you something.) I've been obsessing about it ever since.
Bravo for doing a story about Alec. He was a highly sympathetic and respectable side character, and I sure didn't envy his being stuck with that awful, high-maintenance Sandy.
It was my feeling that Mary Renault, although she had of course invested a little of herself in each character, wrote herself into the story in the form of Alec.
I can't stop thinking about the Charioteer. So much unsaid, unfinished, unexplained. So beautiful and poignant. So intense. I don't mind telling you I stayed up until the wee hours because I have experience with the the general absence of happy endings in Mary Renault's books, and for sure I thought she was going to have Laurie go after Nurse Adrien in a sudden fit of despair, or have Ralph killed off, or Andrew or both! I just couldn't go to sleep not knowing.
Laurie made the best choice. He feels sad and disappointed about his chosen relationship with Ralph not being of the uplifting, spiritual quality of what he felt with Andrew, but at 23, he has no idea how much worse relationships can be; in fact how much lower his standards would have to go if he put off the choice a few more years. He's seen the bitter and broken gay society that swirls around Sandy and Alec, and he thinks that that is as low as he can get, although he can't quite imagine something like that happening to him. But, although crippled, he's still young, still attractive and desirable, and only 23. Twenty-three feels old in some ways (I remember feeling over the hill myself at 23!), but one has no idea how young one is at that age until much, much later.
I felt he needed to be with Ralph, right up until the very last page, but I couldn't trust Ms. Renault to deliver. Thank God she did. Although Laurie had reservations about whether he would be able to love Ralph enough, and was entering this relationship in a state of mourning that hadn't been present before, it was enough of a happy ending for me. I was mostly happy for Ralph. I have so much respect for both of them, but I am in awe of Ralph's strength and accomplishments, especially after so much loneliness and so many setbacks.
Now, onto your story. I don't feel you left it hanging at all. At the close of the story, I felt absolutely certain that Alec slept with Jack. After all, I'm pretty sure Sandy's suicidal neurosis about losing Alec has got to be based on something. Anyway, Alec always has to shore up Sandy's weakness and be strong for him, so it must be nice to occasionally run into someone attractive and confident who doesn't need reassurance for a change. I hope they go to Jack's room and that Alec resists the urge to take Jack back to the apartment he shares with Sandy to show him off to the awful crowd they hang out with, or Sandy will take a nose dive off the roof.
I like the way Alex is having residual feelings of jealousy about Ralph, but is resolutely honest with himself. You kept him perfectly in character.
Now I've got to go and find more Charioteer fic! I've read one of your two recs-- The Beloved, which was wonderful, and now I'm going to read Watch One Hour With Me. Unless my husband wakes up and wants lunch! He disturbed me at a pivotal moment of the last one, but I think that is the special job of family members-- disturbing each other at pivotal moments in life and reading.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2010-05-02 07:36 pm (UTC)Bravo for doing a story about Alec. He was a highly sympathetic and respectable side character, and I sure didn't envy his being stuck with that awful, high-maintenance Sandy.
It was my feeling that Mary Renault, although she had of course invested a little of herself in each character, wrote herself into the story in the form of Alec.
I can't stop thinking about the Charioteer. So much unsaid, unfinished, unexplained. So beautiful and poignant. So intense. I don't mind telling you I stayed up until the wee hours because I have experience with the the general absence of happy endings in Mary Renault's books, and for sure I thought she was going to have Laurie go after Nurse Adrien in a sudden fit of despair, or have Ralph killed off, or Andrew or both! I just couldn't go to sleep not knowing.
Laurie made the best choice. He feels sad and disappointed about his chosen relationship with Ralph not being of the uplifting, spiritual quality of what he felt with Andrew, but at 23, he has no idea how much worse relationships can be; in fact how much lower his standards would have to go if he put off the choice a few more years. He's seen the bitter and broken gay society that swirls around Sandy and Alec, and he thinks that that is as low as he can get, although he can't quite imagine something like that happening to him. But, although crippled, he's still young, still attractive and desirable, and only 23. Twenty-three feels old in some ways (I remember feeling over the hill myself at 23!), but one has no idea how young one is at that age until much, much later.
I felt he needed to be with Ralph, right up until the very last page, but I couldn't trust Ms. Renault to deliver. Thank God she did. Although Laurie had reservations about whether he would be able to love Ralph enough, and was entering this relationship in a state of mourning that hadn't been present before, it was enough of a happy ending for me. I was mostly happy for Ralph. I have so much respect for both of them, but I am in awe of Ralph's strength and accomplishments, especially after so much loneliness and so many setbacks.
Now, onto your story. I don't feel you left it hanging at all. At the close of the story, I felt absolutely certain that Alec slept with Jack. After all, I'm pretty sure Sandy's suicidal neurosis about losing Alec has got to be based on something. Anyway, Alec always has to shore up Sandy's weakness and be strong for him, so it must be nice to occasionally run into someone attractive and confident who doesn't need reassurance for a change. I hope they go to Jack's room and that Alec resists the urge to take Jack back to the apartment he shares with Sandy to show him off to the awful crowd they hang out with, or Sandy will take a nose dive off the roof.
I like the way Alex is having residual feelings of jealousy about Ralph, but is resolutely honest with himself. You kept him perfectly in character.
Now I've got to go and find more Charioteer fic! I've read one of your two recs-- The Beloved, which was wonderful, and now I'm going to read Watch One Hour With Me. Unless my husband wakes up and wants lunch! He disturbed me at a pivotal moment of the last one, but I think that is the special job of family members-- disturbing each other at pivotal moments in life and reading.