When we got our dog last summer, he'd just
been neutered earlier that day. Given that Sean was an adult male dog, and awash in testosterone, I fully expected to see him hump something
in the house. And I'd be the one who'd have to explain to my kids what the hell he was doing. He didn't, and I thought I'd dodged a bullet.
Tonight, after many months of celibacy, my eunuch dog decides that my daughter's giraffe neck pillow
* is irresistable. He goes into a frenzy of manipulating it into just
the right position, humping it, snuggling it, and then doing it all over again.
I heard my husband and older daughter laughing hyterically in another room, and then daughter carried the giraffe into me and said, "Watch this." Sean, following at her heels, repeated the performance as soon as she dropped the giraffe onto the floor. (Younger daughter, owner of giraffe pillow, didn't witness this, and we've all sworn not to tell her.)
As my dog enjoyed a post-coital snuggle with the giraffe, I said, "It looks like Sean has a girlfriend."
My daughter then said what I was really thinking--"Actually, it looks like a boy giraffe. Sean has a boyfriend."
* Younger daughter's favorite animal is the giraffe, and as she often steals my neck pillow on long trips, I gave her this last Christmas.